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Songs From Isolation

by Ray der Bankert

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1.
Pan(dem)ic 04:32
It's coming to an end It's coming to an end It's coming to an end, my dear It's coming to an end It's coming to an end It's coming to an end, my dear Hold me near It's coming to an end It's coming to an end It's coming to an end, my dear There's nowhere left to run There's nowhere left to run There's nowhere left to run, my dear There's nowhere left to run There's nowhere left to run There's nowhere left to run, my dear Away from here There's nowhere left to run There's nowhere left to run There's nowhere left to run, my dear It's knocking on our door It's knocking on our door It's knocking on our door, my dear It's knocking on our door It's knocking on our door It's knocking on our door, my dear Have no fear It's knocking on our door It's knocking on our door It's knocking on our door, my dear Just watch and wait And waste away It's knocking on our door It's knocking on our door It's knocking on our door, my dear There's nowhere left to run There's nowhere left to run There's nowhere left to run, my dear Have no fear It's coming to an end It seems this is the end I guess this is our end, my dear Just watch and wait And waste away Just watch and wait And waste away It's coming to an end It's coming to an end It's coming to an end, my dear It's coming to an end It seems this is the end The world is at its end, my dear
2.
Stuck Inside 04:05
It's the same old thing Retread the same paces I'm circling Hours passing me by Every endless day Every restless night As I'm stuck inside Stuck inside Stuck inside my head again Stuck inside Stuck inside Stuck inside my head again It's the same old thing Every day-in, day-out Hanging on by a string These thoughts are so familiar But I'm estranged Just hoping and praying that something will change But I'm stuck inside Stuck inside Stuck inside my head again Stuck inside Stuck inside Stuck inside my head again It's the same It's the same It's the same old thing Day-in, day-out Hanging on by a string Caught in the same spaces I'm spiraling As I'm stuck inside Stuck inside Stuck inside my head again Stuck inside Stuck inside Stuck inside my head again\ It's the same It's the same It's the same old thing
3.
Succumb to numbness And rest in apathy, my friend Or live forever with the pain And curse the thoughtless Who feast on famine, lie in wait And drive the rest of us insane Endure the heartless But when compassion starts to strain You'll cry out from your tired brain: "I hate what you stand for And I hate all the shit that you do And I'd love to fuck it up But I can't get to you But I can get to me" Yeah, I could make my demands And maybe it's worth a try No guarantees Said you're afraid of rejection Well, I'm afraid of that too But the difference between you and me is I don't know what I might do If it gets too dark at night 'Cause I've always got myself to fight 'Cause when it's all too much I could just self-destruct 'Cause the whole world is fucked And we're plumb out of luck You know the time has come For us to rise on up But if it's not enough Maybe I'll self-destruct
4.
From Below 03:48
It's on and on and on again The same old story never ends And we're just changing out the cast The tales we heard when we were young That the heroes always won Are all just relics of the past True heroes come in shades of gray And no one really knows the way But we'll still fight amongst ourselves The road we know is always fraught The path less traveled's never not And we're still caught in static hell You think they all should hurt like you 'Cause you know exactly what to do But they can't seem to fall in line No you can't change the way they're wired And every one of us is tired So you'll take the best and leave the rest behind And I can't believe That you would fall down on me When you need someone else to lay further down And I didn't know That you would crawl from below And leave the rest of us still buried underground
5.
Remember Me 05:30
I don't know how I feel about this I don't know how I feel about you All I know is I don't like seeing you this way But it seems like I might have to It's hard not to notice Your repetitive refrain I'd hoped we'd have much longer Until I'd fade Will you remember me? Or will you remember her? How much longer 'til she returns? Will remember now or the days gone by? And how much longer 'til the present dies? I don't know how to feel about this I don't know how to feel about anything else All I know is I'm not sure that I can trust you to help me If I don't even know if you can trust yourself I didn't want to hurt And I don't want to push you away But tell me how much longer Will you remain this way Will you remember me? Or will you remember her? Do you recall still all that's occurred? Do you remember when? Do you remember why? And how much longer 'til the thought passes you by? Remember me How much longer now Remember me For how much longer now Remember me 'Cause I want to be Part of your memory Remember me 'Cause I want to be Part of your memory Do you remember now or those bygone days? And how much longer 'til it all fades? Remember me, don't remember her How much longer 'til I'm just a blur? I don't know how to feel about this
6.
The space between your frenzied feet, your socks and matching collar So still The scar Eliza left upon your nose, once always twitching So still What happened to the joyful leaps that greeted me this morn? Why has the sound of footsteps died away? You never were the one before to keep me up at night Did I not love you hard enough to stay? What's left of three kiss your facsimile, but it's pale imitation So still And Phoebe lays just like you did... ...I hold my breath to watch her breathing So still I never thought you'd be the one to set off on your own Now I'm so afraid they'll follow after you And without a word of warning I'll have lost my little home I'll let them know tonight in case they do I'll kiss them on the head now before I go to bed And say "Goodnight, my loves, I'll see you again" Now Phoebe's digging in the corner and Eliza won't stop drinking And my heart stops whenever they sleep The space between your frigid feet Your eyes that stare beyond us So still The memories that lie beneath a makeshift sorrel garden So still And not a day goes by I don't feel the space you left behind And I regret every single mistake I made And what I wouldn't give for the chance to say good-bye Maybe you heard before you slipped away? I kissed you on the head before I laid you to rest And said "Goodnight, my love, I'll see you again"
7.
There's no point in sticking around here any longer It hurts to breathe Every breath adds seconds to the agony Should I go or should I stay? Everyone tells me to wait But you won't give me something to wait for There's more reasons I should leave Every day looks bleak to me 'Cause no one can give me what I need I need a reason I need a reason just to stay But if you go you'll never taste chocolate chip pancakes Or watch the sun set from Holt Hill again But you could do it all tomorrow If you just wake up one more time So maybe stay another day If only for the pancakes The future's lost when just getting up takes all your effort At what cost? Hope is meant for those who have a beacon "It gets better you will see" What are these words worth to me If I have to wait six years to get there? You're asking me to stick it out, but suffering is here and now And the promise of an end won't get me through I need a reason So I'll find a reason just to stay 'Cause if I go I'll never taste chocolate chip pancakes Or watch the sun set from Holt Hill again And I can do it all tomorrow If I just wake up one more time So I guess I'll stay another day If only for the pancakes
8.
Butterfly 05:09
Butterfly, flap your wings Take me away from here You can do anything you fear The ripples that you create can change our circumstance 'Cause even half of one percent is still a fighting chance If all we see is just probability So butterfly, flap your wings Bring that Chicago rain 'Cause if we never know anything for sure I can take this on faith And though it seems just a broken dream I'll keep on trying Just keep on trying To make it through Butterfly, flap your wings Remake these skies anew A little rain is what we need To wash out these broken hues Even though this pain is all we know We'll keep on trying Just keep on trying We'll keep on trying Just keep on trying To make it through

about

Sad songs about alternately losing and finding hope during isolation.

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released July 15, 2021

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Ray der Bankert Oakland, California

Singer-songwriter based in Oakland, CA. Writing sad songs in major and weird, self-indulgent experimental stuff on occasion. Slowly but surely improving my production value.

linktr.ee/rayderbankert

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