1. |
How Wonderful
03:59
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I wish I could stay
That the wind that blows me westward would die away
If I found the time to speak my mind, I'd tell you how much it hurts
Please remember me
I wish you would try
To make sure that this won't be my last good-bye
If I found the words to give the hurt, I'd tell you what's on my mind
I wish I could stay
All I wanna do is be there with you
All I wanna do is be there with you
All I wanna do is be there together with you
I wanna be there together with you
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2. |
Vida Interstellar
04:36
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You told me if I went there that I'd disappear off the face of the Earth
Well, I've spent the past four years desperately clinging to Earth
'Cause I'm scared of oblivion
But I can't help feeling like gravity works different for me
Because it keeps pulling me out while you stand there on the ground
And I wonder if I still mean as much to you as you mean to me
'Cause I know that you're still close
But out in space it gets lonely sometimes
Send me a sign
Tell me can you see the light from my satellite
I'm flying high
But I'm trying to reach you
I wanna know
Though I'm not sitting far below back at home
Am I still an earthling if I'm living interstellar
I told you that I wouldn't go beyond the moon
Said I'd be back soon
But now I find myself drifting well beyond Saturn's rings
I'm privy to your terrestrial transmissions but my experience
Is lightyears away from your collective ones and the distance, it shows
It seems like I'm always the first one to go and the last to return
But though I may float alone I don't want to come down
'Cause I'm swimming in starlight
Send me a sign
Tell me can you see the light from my satellite
I'm flying high
But I'm trying to reach you
I wanna know
Even if I don't come back again, am I relevant
Will I be an alien if I'm living interstellar
I fear I'll never be like the rest of you, never too far from home
And no matter how badly I wanna be a part of your world
I'll always be what's missing
Send me a sign
Tell me can you see the light from my satellite
I'm flying high
But I'm trying to reach you
I wanna know
Though I'm not sitting far below back at home
Am I still an earthling if I'm living interstellar
Will you still love me when I'm living interstellar
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3. |
Third To Go
04:41
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You say that we can go years without speaking and it’ll be the same
But when it isn’t you act so surprised
Well I know the geography is challenging but even so
It’s not my fault Massachusetts makes me want to die
Remember that time at Camp Aoun when I tried to leave
And when you stopped me I broke down and cried
Well this is why: every time I hear you laughing it always seems
That I’m just stuck on the outside
So sometimes I wonder if you forget that I exist
(Sometimes I wonder why)
Yeah, there’s a reason I keep writing songs about this
(Sometimes I wonder if I matter to you)
You were my family but now you’re leaving me behind for pastures green
(Send me a sign)
And now it’s plain to see that I don’t mean as much to you as you mean to me
(I'm trying to reach you)
And if we could go back to the early years we’d see this was always happening
(Am I still an earthling)
But I don’t want to be the third to go
No, this is nothing new; I’ve been feeling this way since high school
When Erica told me I’d disappear off of the Earth
And I tried and I tried to make this work, but nearly a decade has gone by
And it still feels one-sided so I guess I overestimated what I was worth
“Well why didn’t you say so? If you told us, we would have listened.”
I hear you cry from the opposite shore
And I reply, this has happened twice before and both of those times
You made it clear that it was their problem not yours
So forgive me if I think you forgot I exist
(Sometimes I wonder why)
Yeah, there’s a reason I keep writing songs about this
(Sometimes I wonder if I matter to you)
You were my family but now you’re leaving me behind for pastures green
(Send me a sign)
And now it’s plain to see that I don’t mean as much to you as you mean to me
(I'm trying to reach you)
And now I have to ask was this always just a friendship of convenience
(Am I still an earthling)
And am I going to be the third to go?
You say you care but why am I the only one to reach out, reach out?
You say we’re drifting but we could fix it if you’d only reach out, reach out
You say you love me but I won’t believe it ‘till you reach out, reach out
You say we’re drifting, but who is the one who let that happen?
(Sometimes I wonder if I matter to you)
(Sometimes I wonder why)
And if you never see any more of me I don’t feel like you’d care
(Send me a sign)
Did our friendship die as soon as it took time or was there never anything there?
(I'm trying to reach you)
You are my family but I don’t mean as much to you as you mean to me
(Am I still and earthling)
I wish we could still be
But you don’t put effort in me
So I guess that makes me the third to go
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4. |
December Mood
03:46
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Shadows streaming low
In the early dying light
Reminds me of a brisk New England fall
Now everyone I know
Is safe at home tonight
Where every face is one they can recall
Don't leave me behind
Frozen crystal stars
Drift slowly from the sky
And make me miss that place that I once knew
I wanna come out from the cold
to a place that’s warm and bright
but when I see your smiling face I realize to my dismay I’m doomed to stand out here all on my own and have it rubbed into my face how you
Are happy
Without me
So leave me behind
But look at all these stars, they’re falling from the sky
They jumped too soon cause they thought they could fly
And if they drift away from anyplace they know even if they’re all alone
they’re never far from home
(don't leave me behind)
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5. |
Hey There, Massachusetts
04:16
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Hello again old friend
It’s been a long long while
Hello again, did you miss me?
It’s been a while since I missed you
I still feel the hand that sowed me
I still see the hole I never fit into
Yeah, The pain is ever green still
With every year I’ve seen it’s leaves wont fade
But I’ve grown around the wound and got
Some new scars all my own so it’s okay
At least enough
Hello again, old friend
I want you to know that I’m happy where I’m planted
My seeds are sewn in the home I chose
Who knew a fallen tree could grow new roots
And you don't tend to see my leaves here
Where nothing's ever green and never gold
I'll always miss the fiery colors
But I've found a better place for growing old
And that's enough
And I stand by everything
I said out of pain
And no I don’t believe
That anyone can change
But I’ve changed
Hello again, old friend
I thought the storm had blown the woods away
But new groves form in your rocky soil
And your atoms forged my DNA
And I can't erase the rings that bind
To places I have been but couldn't stay
And maybe what I left behind is more than blighted earth
So it's okay
AT least enough
And I stand by everything
I said out of pain
And I still don’t believe
That anything has changed
But I’ve changed
I still haven’t forgiven the ones who cut me down
I don’t know I’ll ever get to that place
But I’ve made my peace with the storms that bent my boughs
For now it’s enough for me to say “It’s ok.”
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Ray der Bankert Oakland, California
Singer-songwriter based in Oakland, CA. Writing sad songs in major and weird, self-indulgent experimental stuff on occasion. Slowly but surely improving my production value.
linktr.ee/rayderbankert
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