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Wasteland

by Ray der Bankert

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1.
Another plaintive melody To help the days seem less lonely Each heartache demands their swansong To be sung before I can move on I'll take the rain from yesterday 'Cause hope can come in quiet ways For after the tears have all gone I'll turn inside out to meet the sun It's a cautious hope That nothing is set in stone Another tuneful remedy When the world's ills weigh down on me And if my song can't bring me clear Then it could at least abate the fear And keep cautious hope That maybe in time all things grow
2.
Wake up in the morning and the sun is shining bright Open up the curtains and take a look outside The birds are singing and it’s nothing but blue sky Good morning, darling, it’s a lovely day to- So put on your brave face and walk on through that door Ignore the feeling you’re not human anymore Push through the crowds and plaster on a smile Just never let on that you’re screaming all the while ‘Cause nothing feels alright And there’s no end in sight oh-whoa-oh ‘Cause I don’t want to be awake anymore I don’t wanna know what’s to come Or have to keep putting up a fight I wanna feel safe in the dark I don’t wanna have to hear the sun Keep singing “good morning, love. It’s a lovely day to die” It feels like you're slipping in a stream of someone else So keep ringing your fingers and talking to yourself Chase the sensations if you can’t find peace of mind Just keep it hidden so everything seems fine But nothing feels alright And there’s no end in sight oh-whoa-oh ‘Cause I don’t want to be awake anymore I don’t wanna know what’s to come Or have to keep putting up a fight I wanna feel safe in the dark I don’t wanna have to hear the sun Keep singing “good morning, love. It’s a lovely day to—” Shove it aside and move on, just tuck the harder feelings away And try your best not to dissociate Or pull up the covers and waste the day away in bed With this screaming, this screaming, inside your head ‘Cause I don’t want to be awake anymore I don’t wanna know what’s to come Or have to keep putting up a fight I wanna feel safe in the dark I don’t wanna have to hear the sun Keep singing “good morning, love. It’s a lovely day to die” ‘Cause I don’t want to be awake anymore I don’t wanna know what’s to come Or have to keep putting up a fight I wanna feel safe in the dark I don’t wanna have to hear the sun Keep singing “good morning, love. It’s a lovely day to die” Wake up in the morning and the sun is shining bright (it's a lovely day to die) Open up the curtains and take a look outside (it's a lovely day to die) The birds are singing and the sun is shining bright (it's a lovely day to die) Good morning darling it's a lovely day (it’s a lovely day to die)
3.
Here we are by ourselves Wasting days away No one else is there to help So this is how we'll stay 'Cause everybody hurts, everybody hurts, everybody hurts When everybody hurts, everybody hurts, everybody hurts We pass the time on our own In silent company But there's no rope to throw And we can't do a thing 'Cause everybody hurts, everybody hurts, everybody hurts When everybody hurts, everybody hurts, everybody hurts 'Cause everybody hurts, everybody hurts, everybody hurts When everybody hurts, everybody hurts, everybody hurts We'll try our best to do our part In holding up a broken heart But we're both falling apart Here we are and here we'll stay Trapped inside this verse Nothing left to say For fear we'll make things worse 'Cause everybody hurts, everybody hurts, everybody hurts When everybody hurts, everybody hurts, everybody hurts Yeah everybody hurts, everybody hurts, everybody hurts When everybody hurts, everybody hurts, everybody hurts
4.
So that’s how it starts With a broken heart It was always the same And I just played my part In the blink of an eye The years go by You’d think now that things have changed The scars would fade in time But it still hurts all the things you said And you can wrap them up in pretty bows and tell me that’s not it But I know exactly what you meant And it still burns inside my sleepless mind every single night Yeah you’ll never know The seeds you’ve sewn And nothing can hide The weeds you’ve left inside but I’ve grown The tables could turn And you could take back your words But no matter how far I get I just can’t accept that you’ll never fucking learn So it still hurts all the things you said And you can wrap them up in pretty bows and tell me that’s not it But I know exactly what you meant And it still burns inside my sleepless mind every single night So it still hurts all the things you said And you can wrap them up in pretty bows and tell me that’s not it But I know exactly what you meant And it still burns inside my sleepless mind every single night
5.
The Thing 04:27
The morning of the thing’s conception I was unwittingly beguiled When irrefutable compulsion Befell an unsuspecting child Teeming with unrelenting power I heard the shadow beckon sweet Haunting my every waking hour And thus the darkness spoke to me Come stand under the water, child, and turn the temp up high You best not run away now let the pain in open wide Just let the boiling water scar your throat and melt your eyes 'Cause there’s nothing like a mother’s love to make you wanna die Years later, eyes sore and heart pounding The voice returned to me one day Just like a siren song resounding To lead a broken heart astray That voice kept calling from the darkness Down all those cold abandoned streets Whispering comfort to the heartless With promises of sweet release Come drift a little closer, love and let’s go for a ride Step in a little further and you surely won’t survive Just let yourself surrender and give me a chance to drive 'Cause there's nothing like a lover’s scorn to make you wanna die You’ll sing my song everyday (2x) And pray that no one hears a word of everything you say (4x) Yeah, you know they call me the thing Come stand under the water, child, and turn the temp up high You best not run away now let the pain in open wide Just let the boiling water scar your throat and melt your eyes 'Cause there’s nothing like a mother’s love to make you wanna die Come drift a little closer, love and let’s go for a ride Step in a little further and you surely won’t survive Just let yourself surrender and give me a chance to drive 'Cause there's nothing like a lover’s scorn to make you wanna die Come on and steal away with me and make your final climb We’ll find some place secluded far away from prying eyes Just give into your urges and don’t think about the height 'Cause there’s nothing like another day to make you wanna die
6.
Can you hear me? 'Cause I'm trying to get this off my chest And I want to speak without worrying what you'll think of me next Can you see me? 'Cause I want to show you where I've been But it seems I lose my dignity every time I let you in I don't want to be Another sob story And I don't want your sympathy I just want you to see me For who I am and what I've been through I want to say I'm not ok Without having to worry if I've said too much So tell me Can you see me? Do you know how I got this far? Every way I fucked this body up never left an outward scar I don't want to see it The pity in your eyes I just want someone who will hold my hand And read right through my lies But I don't want to be Another sob story Don't you know That I don't want your sympathy I just want you to see me For who I am and what I've been through I want to say I'm not ok Without having to worry if I've said too much So tell me What do you see? Can you hear me? Or are you thinking what you should say next? Every comfort that you offer up sticks something back onto my chest I don't want to hear it All the things you think I need When guilty looks and sad eyes is all that you could offer me When I don't want to be Another sob story No no And I don't want your sympathy I just want you to see me For who I am and what I've been through I want to say I'm not ok Without having to worry if I've said too much So tell me Can you see me?
7.
It's getting harder don't you feel it To find a reason to exist The days seem longer and it's growing cold And all the usual things are growing old It's getting harder to distract yourself 'Cause you keep hearing that sound that you know so well: "The world is ending better run like hell" I don't want another day that takes all I've got to give I want a reason to live No don't you bother making future plans It's been decided and out of your hands Just bite the bullet and forget the cost 'Cause it's so easy to get lost There's only sympathy when you need help It's the only comfort anyone can sell: "We're right there with you but we wish you well" I don't want another day that takes all I've got to give I want a reason to live The world is ending better run like hell (4x) You hear that sound that you know so well It's the fears inside you that you just can't quell 'Cause the world is ending better run like hell I don't want another day that takes all I've got to give I want a reason to live
8.
Outworlder 04:31
Neil and Buzz landed in the year '69 The first to touch down beyond human ken Can you imagine how spectacularly lonely it must have been? And Buzz he chimed in when Houston asked them "Hey what's it like on the moon?" "Well Houston I think it's spectacularly lonely knowing no one else can see this too" Well ten more went and they saw and they left And they came back down onto firm land And how did they feel? They felt spectacularly lonely knowing no one else could understand Now here I lie on my personal moon Sending satellites drifting from my divergent heart But the message is written in an alien tongue And we're hundreds and thousands of miles apart And I know what it feels like laying down on the moon And gazing up at the Earth standing skyward at your feet And everything I say won't make sense to you And it feels spectacularly lonely
9.
Wasteland 03:49
Give me Another chance to go again Send me I’ll never question why Bring me A piece to please my mind again Give me A California sky But I wonder how long it will take For the sands of time to wash away my face On that morning will you wake and wonder where your daughter’s gone? She’s flying away from home On the wings of a desert storm Just a bastard child Out of the wasteland Give me A reason to believe again Maybe We’ll find another way Send me The sign that slipped my mind again Give me A reason I should stay But how many days have gone by While you have lived inside this lie? Will this morning be the day you just give in and let me die? No you don’t know my name You know a wasteland
10.
Moving On 05:02
I've been waiting here for days Screaming colors through the static gray Silence fleeting comes in waves Of quiet erosion wasting me away This deep azure blue Flows down every avenue Sweet monochrome slew Paints me in cerulean hues Countless visions pass me by Like evening shadows through the August sky Gleaning meaning every night Then disappearing in the shade’s respite And dark has its time Leads the willing through the undertide Fluid fractured light Breeds mosaic sight But I can’t help but feel this way Chained by the words you say But if you Would help me pull through Then I’m moving on Motions pass and habits fade Like castles falling to the coming wave I’ll tie my heartache to these staves And hope the currents wash the stains away And I can’t help but feel this way Chained by the words you simply won’t say But if you Would only help me pull through Then I’m moving on
11.

credits

released June 3, 2020

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Ray der Bankert Oakland, California

Singer-songwriter based in Oakland, CA. Writing sad songs in major and weird, self-indulgent experimental stuff on occasion. Slowly but surely improving my production value.

linktr.ee/rayderbankert

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